T.W.: This short story contains, drowning, and suicide as mojor plotpoints. If these events can, or will be triggering for you please do not engage with this text. Thank you in advance, and I hope that you are doing well.
Sophia Andino had no reason to feel so bad. She hadn’t done anything wrong, she had a good life, good friends, a good job, everything she ever wanted. Everything she was supposed to want. But she still couldn’t get the feeling of sinking out of her head, she didn’t know how, or why she was sinking, but she was.
She was drowning.
And here she was sitting on the beach, alone, so close to the violent storm approaching her home.
She took off her boots, they were leather, not the best choice for being so near water. She took off her coat, though no one else would have called it that, it was just a large, green dress -shirt that she found lying around the house. She gently folded it and placed it next to her shoes.
She thought, briefly, about taking off her shorts before stepping into the violent waves. Sophia had always hated the feeling of wet denim on her skin, but she couldn’t be bothered. She waded into the water and swam until it was too deep for her to touch the ground and emptied her lungs. Then, she plunged herself underwater. And she was covered in the silky, cold, satin of the ocean.
She let her mind wander. Mostly she thought about her mother. She knew as well as she knew herself that Mother wouldn’t cry. But then again, she didn’t know herself very well.
It had been a while now, her lungs had just started burning and her body was begging her to take a breath, but she couldn’t bring herself to get out.
And she was sinking.
Fast.
But this was what she had wanted. The water was cold, it was numbing her body, her mind, and it felt good. She couldn’t even think anymore, her mind had finally slowed down.
Her back soon collided with the sandy sea floor, making a low thud.
She had sunk.
Sophia layed there, mind blurry. And it was getting blurrier. She felt the water around her turn to warm grey clouds, and closed her eyes. The burning in her lungs was still there, but now she wasn’t even bothered by it. She could have stayed there forever like this.
Just as her mind was going to black, she felt her body move.
‘It’s probably just the waves.’
She thought, but her body was being pulled upwards. She was once again aware of the burning in her lungs again and it felt like her head was about to explode. Sophia noticed a pair of hands on her body. She could have tried to fight them off, but she felt as if her arms were about to fall off. So she just let herself get pulled up.
And before she could even notice her head was above the waves. She tried at a shaking gaspt but that only resulted in a cough, and some, a comedicaly minuscule amount of, salty water coming out of her lungs. So she must have taken a breath, let the violent sea into her lungs. How could she not remember?
But her body was wrecked with violent, breathless, coughing. Her body fighting to take in the breath it so desperately needed, but couldn’t let in,
The hands were pulling her to the shore now. Then there was a weight against her, on her face. Something calloused, a hand, was on her cheek, at her jaw, and suddenly there was a weight on her face, too.
Sophia felt air push its way into her lungs. And with that, just as if a lock, a dam, had been broken, she felt the final cascades of water exit her lungs, and she started to cough. She couldn’t stop herself, and her throat was starting to chafe.
But she couldn’t find it in her to care. At least her head was slowly clearing and her arms felt fuzzy, but at least she could move them now.
Or at least she felt like she could, she hadn’t moved a bone so far.
She should open her eyes and see who the hands, and the weight on her face, belonged to. She would in a second, right now she just wanted to sink back into the sea.
Not die though, Sophia had never wanted to die. Just sleep and wake up better, normal, not like this.
What would she even say to them? Sophia wasn’t in the mood to explain why she was lying at the bottom of the ocean so close to a storm.
The hand pushed her off to the sand, and she could finally open her eyes. It was a girl, the hands belonged to a girl. Around her age, she supposed. She had curly black hair, not unlike everyone else in this tiny corner of Italy, though it was much curlier. But it was tinted with red,
‘It’s like she washed her hair in blood,’ Sophia thought, giddily, and then immediately hated herself it. But the girl’s skin was freckled all over, they varied in color. From dark enough to only be a few shades darker then her skin, to be light enough to stand out like dazzling stars.
‘That’s a good word to describe her,’ Sophia thought, knowing that she’d regret it as soon as the oxygen deprivation wore off.
But the spots and stars were dancing around on her, from her cheeks to around her eyes, collarbones, and shoulders. And she was yelling at her.
Oh.
Oh.
Sophia shook her head and tried to listen to her, but her head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton balls and she could only make out small phrases in her muffled voice. She was far away from her, she was in another world.
She was still drowning, deep underwater. But it was clearing up. Slowly. She could hear the girl now, she just couldn’t make sense of the words. But she would ask her,
“Are you okay?”
And she would yell at her,
“What’s wrong with you!”
The questions were flying out of her faster than Sophia could answer them, faster than she could even understand them,
“Can you talk?”
The girl spoke softer now, maybe she feared that she had scared her. Sophia opened her mouth to answer but the only thing that came out was a broken sob. She threw her hand on her mouth to stifle them and nodded her head. She tried to swallow down her tears and talk normally like a human being. She could hear her mother now, scolding her,
“Always be propper,” She would say, “Tell people what they want to hear, no matter what.”
So Sophia tried to rub the tears from eyes and calm her breathing, it didn’t really work. But at least her throat was somewhat cleared. She took one last breath, enough to speak, whisper, a few words. Her voice came out high pitched and shaky,
“I- I’m sorry,” she said, her voice only slightly disrupted by small sobs, that she tried, and only slightly failed in keeping down, ”Thank you. I-,” she hesitated,” I’ll go away.” She stood up, her knees shaky, and began to walk off the beach. She stumbled a little but refined her balance quickly, she felt like a baby giraffe. She was sure she looked like one too. That, or a very awkward doll, being moved by a very concerning, and sad, child.
She had left her shoes and jacket behind, and she just wanted to walk away. Fast.
She got to her car, and got in as fast as she could. Sighing as she banged her head against the wheel, Sophia muttered,
“Stupid.” She said, “ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” How could she do this? Someone had seen her, she would never live this down, her mother would hear of this. She didn’t know how but she would find out somehow, and then she would-”
Her thoughts were cut off by a tapping at her window. She whipped her head around to see her. The girl. With the freckles and everything. She lifted up the boots and coat she had left at the beach.
Sophia had no choice. She could have driven away, but it would have just made everything worse. She also doubted that she could drive like this. So she rolled down her window, and faced the girl. She was the first to speak.
“Hi.” She breathed. Sophia responded though her voice was much harsher.
“Hi.” She half spat out, “Can I have my shoes back?”
“Sure, do whatever you want your,” she hesitated looking back at the jacket, “Do you want your dress-shirt, thing, back too?”
“It’s a jacket.” Sophia said. The girl didn’t argue, she just held it out, along with the shoes.
“Are you okay?” She asked her. Sophia snatched the shoes and jacket from her hands.
“Of course I am.” She said, “Why would you think otherwise?” The girl just gave her a knowing look.
“Look, j-just don’t tell anyone.” Sophia spat, “My mother will kill me.” She groaned. The girl laughed.
“How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-five.” Sophia answered, “Why do you ask?” The girl didn’t answer her, she just continued on asking her questions.
“What’s your name?”
“Sophia Andi-” She was cut off by the other girl.
“Oh!” She exclaimed, “I know you! You’re that mean girl who lives in the creepy old house!” She looked excited.
“I’m not mean”
“Sure you aren’t.” She sighed, “I’m worried about you.” Sophia looked at her.
“You have nothing to worry about, I’m fine.” She said, turning away.
“You’re clearly not.” Sophia was getting frustrated. Why can’t she just leave her alone.
“Maybe, I’m not, but this is none of your business.” She spat out.
“It doesn’t matter.” The girl opened the door to sit next to her, she took her hand, they were callused, “I want to help you.”
“Why do you care?” Sophia asked her. For the first time, her voice wasn’t hardened.”
“I just do.” Sophia sighed. She squeezed the girl’s hand.
“Fine.”
“My name is Ginevra.” Sophia laughed for the first time in a while, it was a small thing, but it was better than nothing
“Fancy name.” She said, even though it wasn’t even remotely close to being rare.
“I know.” Ginevra thought for a second, “That’s why you can call me Ginny.” Sofia smiled.
“You have nice hands, Ginny.” She said, Ginny laughed,
“Thanks, I grew them myself, Sofia.”
And for once, Sophia Andino wasn’t sinking.
It started raining
