Tony bought three pounds of various herbs and foliage (not meant for smoking) with the intention of smoking them while weening himself off of nicotine and his subsequent oral fixation of smoking: he allocated exactly 2 weeks worth of cigarettes for himself– a final hurrah as his non-carcinogenic herbs shipped out. He was on his last cigarette when the shipment arrived, he hurried to open the box but was met with nothing but packing peanuts, at this time his phone ‘dinged,’ and a notification lit up his screen,
“hi!” The message was written entirely uncapitalized, “sorry there was a supply issue with your order, a replacement will be there within the day.”
It was seven a.m., Tony was to be left empty for the entire day, he was lost. He tried everything: he gnawed through his cuticles, he chewed through two packs of nicotine gum (not helpful for his already prevalent heart palpitations,) he settled on the only thing that seemed to work– cherry flavored blow pops, he sucked on them until his tongue bled. And soon, they weren’t cutting it anymore, Tony knew what he had to do. He drove to the gas station and bought a pack of Virginia Slims (the ones in the green box, a rare delicacy for him.) When he got back home, at seven p.m., his shipment was waiting for him.
Tony sat down next to it on his front steps and smoked all $18.85 of his Virginia Slims.
